V decided last week that she wanted me to fully commit to working the program at IOP and that she would not continue to meet with me while I was in treatment. I flipped out. I was so upset I literally cried for 3 hours, but I understood why she was making this decision. I wasn't pushing myself to participate in treatment because I knew I could wait and talk to her.
Now that it has been over a week, knowing that my only chance to process/talk is at IOP, I have really been able to commit to the process and feel like I'm finally making some progress.
It is still really hard to talk about some things and fully trust the group, but I at least feel like it is starting to do some good.
I miss seeing V, but she'll be there for me when I transition out and get back to work. Right now it looks like that won't be until February 22nd at the earliest. That is still a lot of time for me to continue healing!
5 comments:
Oh my Lily! I've been wondering and worrying about you. I'm so sorry that this has happened. I could totally understand your reaction! I am glad that you are making progress - I will be thinking of you often and look forward to hearing from you whenever you can get a chance to write.
Lily, I have missed you and have been praying for you.
Lily, I have missed you and have been praying for you.
Lily been thinking about you. ((((Lily))))
Lily, I'm glad to "hear" from you. I imagine this is such a difficult confusing time for you and you must feel a myriad of feelings that seem nearly impossible to trudge through, let alone understand.
I have so much I want to say, and yet I hesitate to say anything at all, for fear that it is my own "stuff" coming up, brought up by your recent situation with V that I'm not sure it would be helpful for you, or merely my venting frustration toward the mental health community (V in this instance, or my own T in the same situation 3 years ago) - and I want to offer support and not anything that could seem harmful to you in ANY way. You have been hurt enough.
I'm so sorry for everything you've been through - you don't deserve any of it!
Sending you love - Grace
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