Took me forever to find this blog. I made it quite a bit ago and my memory is not the best. It's been an interesting week. Work wasn't too bad, quite enjoyable compared to most weeks if you don't count the fire we had at work... for the 2nd time... in 3 weeks. Bad omen? Had training Thursday afternoon and I got like 4 calls in the short hour I was in the training. Called my mom back and we had the normal small talk to start off the conversation. "Are you sitting down?" comes next. Damn. That is never good. I was really afraid she was going to tell me her cancer was back. I said a silent prayer that it was not the case. Thankfully my prayers were answered! Instead, she tells me she's asking my stepdad, D, for a div.orce. Um.. what? My mom tells me EVERYTHING, but apparently she's been very unhappy for a while. I never really liked my stepdad all that much, but I sucked it up because I thought he made her happy. I guess at first he did, but the more I think back the more I can see the silent pain my mom was going through and I can't believe I didn't catch on sooner. My sister always said "She isn't really in love with him, she just doesn't want to be alone." to which I always told her she was crazy. Maybe I should listen to my sister more often...
Anyway, she tells me she's going to ask him for a divorce Friday after work, so she may need to come stay with me for a night or two. Technically the house they live in is my mom's. We moved there in 1994 and me, my mom and sister lived there for almost 10 years before he was in the picture... but when they married the house was put in both of their names. Damn. Anyway... we talk for almost 2 hours about how she originally asked him in October for a divo.rce, how negative and depressing he is, how she just can't do it anymore. I listen and console as best I can, but what the heck do I know about a div.orce? Sure I'm a child of divorce, but I have no words of wisdom to help her through this, other than to offer my home as hers until D can find a new place to live. Luckily with his job he can't afford the house payments, so it's highly doubtful he'll fight her for the house. But he was in charge of all the finances, so my mom has no idea how much money they have in savings, how much bills are, what she can afford, etc. It's a mess.
She left Friday night and called me on her way to my godmother's. Short term plan was to stay there for a few days, then possibly come stay with me. She was crying, telling me what was said, that she was OK and will call me tomorrow. I spent a good chunk of Saturday with her (after finishing working in the morning/afternoon), then I went back over to my godmother's again today. She is going to give D a month to get out of the house. That is too much time in my mind. It does not take that long to find an apartment, sign a lease and find someone to move out half of the belongings. My mom needs to start healing and I don't think she can do it while she's away from home, living from a suitcase, away from her bed, her dogs, her home.
I was the first to know of her plan, my godmother found out next, and now today she called my grandmother. No one has been surprised. How have I been this distant from her feelings? I guess I just didn't want to think that she was unhappy. My stepbrother and his wife now know too. My nephew's birthday party was Saturday and when neither of them showed up, you can imagine that they called wanting to know what is up. I bet that was an interesting conversation. I've become really close to his oldest son and his family and hope I can keep in touch with them. My mom wants that too... so bad. She has been Grandma since H and C were newborns and A was 6 years old. We were all supposed to go to the state fair next Saturday and then had tickets to go see the Lio.n Kin.g. I don't think I'm going to go now, seeing as this has all come to pass so quickly. I'm going to call his wife mid-week and let them know and hopefully pass along some information.
My week is going to be long and stressful. God... shoot me. Can you tell I'm maxed out on hormones? The "red w.itch" should be arriving soon... being a woman sucks sometimes.
2 weeks ago
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