A marriage ready to begin...

So I'm MOH (m.aid of ho.nor) for my best friend, D. She's getting married in June. Woo! The log.isitics of a wed.ding freak me out. I am a chronic worrier, and something as finely detailed as brid.al show.ers, bache.lorette parties and wedd.ings stress me out. The brid.al shower is coming first... out of 8 bride.smaids, only 3 live in the general area to help out with the shower. Originally what was going to be a small shower, at her apartment for 20 or so people was turned into a party of 40 now needing a room, house or restaurant. Immediately I start stressing about how much it is going to cost to feed these people (selfish I know).. but we found a restaurant with a reasonable price given we'll be having almost 40 ppl there.

$400 minimum tab, $270 is already accounted for but everyone is on their own for drinks and other menu items (which will be added to the tab for the room). We'll end up paying the difference, which I hope is not much because we still have to pay for the cake, invitations, decorations AND gift. Now I make plenty of money, and it really is no skin off my back to provide this (split this cost) to celebrate my best friend. It's just that I'm afraid I'm going to take the brunt of it, even though her mom has offered to help pay. Bless her heart, I feel bad that she's taking some of this on too as well as pay for the wedding, but part of me feels better knowing that she'll be there to help. She knows we are all (mostly) 23 and 24 year olds, fresh out of college, most with small incomes.

Why does money bother me so much sometimes? I still have a student loan to pay off (GRR), but I am a good saver for the most part, I love to shop but I am responsible with my money. Sure I bought new furniture last weekend on a whim.. spending half of my paycheck the day that it cleared. That is so unlike me... I about threw up when I handed my credit card over. And I'm a little unnerved at the $2500 credit card bill I had waiting for me tonight. Maybe that's why I looked at a $7 candle today and said "Nope, you can't afford this."

What's really killing me is how much I've been eating out. Between my mom not wanting to go home after work (who wants to live with someone you just asked for a divorce?) we've been meeting up for dinner 2-3x a week, plus the fact that I have been bit by a major lazy bug and haven't cooked in a while. I've got to change that. I do have to look good in my bridesmaid dress in June and right now I feel like a cow. My wed.ding weight goal is going to be 160 lbs. That's like 10 lbs in 4 months. I can do that right? Sure can.. done it before and I'll do it again, but we'll save that story for another time...