Blur

Man alive, these last two weeks have been a blur. I don't even remember what I did last week to tell you the truth.

My best friend and her baby stayed with me this week. They were supposed to stay Monday and Tuesday night, but because of some selfish acts on the part of her husband they were forced to stay another unscheduled night. I loved having her and the baby, but her mom and husband were a little much to deal with in my little one bedroom apartment. Wednesday I had an MR.I to find out the severity of the problems with my back, since treatment wasn't giving me the progress that is normally seen in the time I have been going. Thankfully I do not have a bulging disc past 5mm in progression according to the scans, but apparently mine is pressed up against the nerves in my back and is resistant to improve.

I am at the point where I am almost disgusted with myself. My weight continues to climb and my motivation continues to drop. I haven't been working out at an intensity that will really help me lose weight because it almost always causes me to slide backwards in progress with my back. I have been allowing myself to mindlessly eat, with no regards to the reason except boredom. I am sad, and I hate myself for letting it get this bad. I've gained 15 lbs in the last 18 months. Ughhhh. Thankfully my clothes still fit nicely, but I have got to get this under control.

Too many good season finales on tonight to spend more time on here... hopefully I can catch up on blog reading this weekend!

2 comments:

Wrapped up in Life said...
May 16, 2009 at 7:28 PM

Aww, hon, I'm sorry about the company fiasco. Unscheduled events, no matter how miniscule, ALWAYS stress me out.

Keep your head up - there is more to this life than the scale. I swear!

imaginenamaste said...
May 17, 2009 at 9:46 PM

I'm also enjoying some season finales! I am constantly reminding myself that there is more to life than a scale. It sounds funny coming from me, but it is true! I hope that you find some relief for you back--I hurt my back in a car accident and did a gentle yoga class. Helped some! Best of luck to you!