Can you feel that?

Last night was not good. I was feeling anxious (which generally means another underlying emotion) so I sat down to start writing. Bad idea. I had this overwhelming feeling of hatred and disgust of myself. I just could not get past it...

So I punished my body for the way my mind and heart felt. It felt like the only way to make that pain go away. I'd much rather feel physical pain then what I feel inside... if only it was that easy. Seeing the bruises and cuts makes me feel better. Proof that I am as damaged on the outside as I feel on the inside.

7 comments:

Just Be Real said...
August 9, 2009 at 4:21 PM
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Madison said...
August 9, 2009 at 4:59 PM

An insightful description into why people hurt themselves, exchanging an invisible pain for a visible one. God sees the emotional pain and will help you. You can believe that He loves you exactly the way you are today. And, you are going to be an awesome overcomer. Please keep seeking help. Bless you.

HeartfeltHeartLook said...
August 9, 2009 at 6:00 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Colleen said...
August 9, 2009 at 7:43 PM

Hugs and prayers. I am on vacation but will check back when I can. God bless.

Epiphany said...
August 10, 2009 at 3:20 AM

I'm really sorry. :(

Harriet said...
August 10, 2009 at 2:37 PM

I understand, I have been there. I'm actually there with you right now. I hope you feel a bit better now, please take care of yourself.

imaginenamaste said...
August 10, 2009 at 9:44 PM

I wish I could give you a hug. And make it go away. I'm thinking about you over here.

I completely understand....