Finish What You Started

So at the end of my session on Tuesday, A started talking about how my letters seemed to abruptly end; without much/any closure, wrap up, or summarization as is generally seen with most forms of written expression. I tried to do as well as I could with my letter to God, wrapping up with my frustration of where I am at and what I feel I need from Him, but I guess it wasn't clear that was my intent. My letter to my dad is another story. I just stopped it.

I didn't sign them, either.

It was hard enough to address them as "Dear Dad" and "Dear God", let alone give them an author.

So when she asked me why I didn't sign or close them, I didn't really have a response that was acceptable to not probe further into. I didn't want to sign them. They hurt so much to write, that making them belong to me just hurt that much more. So she wondered if it was my unconcious mind telling me that I still had things I needed to put in those letters.

I thought a bit and wondered that myself. Is there more I left out? Did I hold back on anything? I don't think I did, but who's to say for sure? I personally squirmed at the idea of having to go back and re-live/re-think everything over again (and possibly more) to add to and/or close the letters.

So I was given two options this week. Go back and finish what you started, close out the letters, even if it is as "simple" as signing your name or as involved as adding more information... or journal why I am choosing not to sign/finish these letters. What is holding me back?