Today I'm Thankful

No doubt this week has been rough. I got home from my additional session Thursday and slept. Slept for about 4 hours. I was exhausted. When I awoke, I was surprised to have an e-mail waiting for me from A. She was worried about how I was doing after leaving her office that afternoon. I can't tell you just how much that gesture touched me and helped lessen some of my pain. I replied with how I was doing and we exchanged a few more e-mails before the night was over. I told her about having the recurrence of some suicidal thoughts, which have not been a problem in quite a while. The aggressiveness of their return was scary. I have been very low this week.

Even through all of that, I was so looking forward to this weekend.

When my parents were married, they lived on a cul-de-sac in a "Pleasantville" suburb. There were 5 houses, 5 families and we were all very close. For about 10 years, we did almost everything together. One of the girls next door was born only 10 hours after me. We were BFF since birth. The older girls were my babysitters. The older boys taught us how to get in trouble, LOL. The other parents were like my own. I would come and go to and from their houses as I pleased, not even knocking to come in or having to ask for permission. I lived in their pools during the summer. We had cookouts, birthday parties, Christmases, etc. together. I have such good memories of that time of my life. I pray that I am able to find that in my life later so that my kids can feel that wonderful sense of love I felt growing up on that street.

Kids got older, moved out. One of the boys next door was murdered on his way home from the high school football game. We were all devastated. Things changed. My parents got divorced, we moved out. People went their separate ways. We stayed in contact, but as life gets busy you forget and don't try as hard. The last time I saw everyone was when I was 13. One of the girls (my babysitter) got married then and we went to her wedding. I'd see them every now and then in passing at the country club, but aside from that I hadn't seen or talked to anyone since that age.

Fast forward to the Facebook era and I was able to re-establish contact with everyone except for one family. I am the planner of things. Nothing makes me happier than to reconnect with old friends. So today I got everyone together for the first time in almost 13 years. It felt as though it had been 13 minutes. Nothing had changed. We sat and talked and laughed for hours. My babysitter now has 5 kids, and she brought 2 of them with her. Her older brother (the one who taught me the most about getting in trouble!) has one child, who is 13. She was there too and loved hearing all the stories we all shared. Their mother is still the matriarch I remember. Always making sure everyone is OK and happy, with that dry sense of humor. Their father is still the most handsome, loving husband and father he always was. My namesake is just as fun as I remember. She has got the most contagious laugh. Her oldest daughter (my old BFF) is as gorgeous as she always was, and just as fun as her mother. If they didn't live so far away I would definitely be hanging out with her often! The two youngest girls (BFF's sister and my sister) could not come but they both promised to come next time. And there will be a next time.

Today I am thankful for my past. I am thankful that God gave me these wonderful people. It has been so long that I have forgotten what an impact they all had on my childhood. I felt loved today.


Anonymous said...
February 6, 2010 at 10:15 PM

Those are some pretty swim suits :)

I'm glad that you are able to find some "happy thoughts" even during all of the hard ones going on right now.

I hope that you can find that needed inner peace.

I'm so glad that you have A there to support you in "real" life :)

Just Be Real said...
February 7, 2010 at 4:18 AM

You have one caring therapist!! Simple gestures like that during our journey's do mean a lot! I am glad for you dear.

Wow, Lily, what a beautiful and uplifting post. I am so very glad you were able to connect with all your friends from the past. What an effort put forth by you to do this! What a reward in the end! I am so happy this made you feel very good and especially loved!!

I enjoyed reading your happiness, thank you!

Anonymous said...
February 7, 2010 at 6:01 AM

So glad you reconnected....They sound like great people. Came by to give you a hug. :)


Madison said...
February 7, 2010 at 6:28 AM

Love this! I lived in Pleasantville as an adult. Then, everyone began getting divorced and families began splintering all around me. I wonder if Pleasantville ever lasts.

Debbie said...
February 7, 2010 at 5:06 PM

How nice to meet up with friends from the past! I'm glad you were able to connect again.

Bernie said...
February 7, 2010 at 7:46 PM

Thank you for visiting my blog, I found your post really honest and I was so happy to see that you met up with old friends...they are the best.
Praying that you stay well and am pleased you have such a great T.
.....:-) Hugs

Margie said...
February 7, 2010 at 10:45 PM

Dear Lily
It was nice having you visit my blog and your kind words were very appreciated!

How wonderful to meet up with those friends that meant and mean so much to you!
It's a very special feeling to feel the love!
So happy for you!


Catherine said...
February 8, 2010 at 10:36 AM

This reminded me of my best friend when I was a child and the times we had together. Thank you for sharing!

Harriet said...
February 8, 2010 at 11:05 AM

That sounds like so much fun. I have to say the 80's were my favorite decade!

sarah said...
February 8, 2010 at 1:32 PM

how cool is this!!!!!!! I loved reading it....all of it except that guy's murder..connections..Boy do we ever need them. I didn't have that kind of background but I do have some amazing connections today. Hugs. sarah

Colleen said...
February 9, 2010 at 8:20 PM

Glad you reconnected to these people. Good for you! And you are blessed to have that therapist. Hugs.

Anonymous said...
February 9, 2010 at 11:28 PM

Nothing much, just wanted to tell you that I was thinking about you :)

Marj aka Thriver said...
February 10, 2010 at 1:29 PM

Good for you for getting that group together. That sounds so cool! I'm glad you felt love. That can make a world of difference when the suicidal lows hit. I'm sorry you've been feeling low, but I sure am glad you have a T who cares. I care, too.

Many, warm, safe, gentle hugs ((((((((((Lily))))))))))