Finding Joy and Peace

It has been hard to find the joy in anything lately. Life has been one hard confrontation after another. One painful truth after another. The holidays have compounded my normal depression and anxiety having all these new emotions on the surface that have rarely, if ever, been a part of my daily life.

It's very hard to not let these new emotions consume me. They are very powerful and I have no experience in allowing myself to feel them when it's safe to, and turn them off when it's not. It is scary to feel like you are being dragged around with no control. It makes me want to run back to my "comfortable" place, where emotions are pushed under the rug and life is just about going through the motions.

I find myself praying for peace more than anything else these days. Will it ever come?

5 comments:

Just Be Real said...
December 24, 2010 at 1:32 AM

Lily, I am right along side of you on this one. New emotions are hard to deal with at first. Many times I have felt out of control and want to run and hide as well. But, in time, it does become easier. I know easier said than done, but I believe it really does.

I hold on to hope! And I know in my heart one day, the peace that we long for will come. I know it hurts now and doubt floods our mind and soul, but the faith that keeps me going keeps pointing me in the right direction to freedom. That is what I hang on to. However long it may take. ((((Lily))))

sarah said...
December 24, 2010 at 6:20 AM

hold on Lily....I know it will come. I never thought it would come for me too...and it did. Praying for you..and believing....☺

Harriet said...
December 24, 2010 at 10:30 AM

This time of year is very stressful and anxiety provoking. I agree with you that it is so tempting to go back to that place where the emotions are just buried. But I wasn't very happy that way either, so I trudge on, trying to go forward.

Lisa said...
December 24, 2010 at 8:09 PM

Hang in there- there will come a time...

xoxo
-lisa

Just Be Real said...
December 26, 2010 at 2:21 PM

Lily, just checking in thinking about you dear one. Hoping you made it through the holiday's okay. Blessings