God Is In Control

I found out today that I have to leave my school due to downsizing. I work in an extremely fast growing district, and a new school is opening next year to relieve my current school of our large student population. With that though, goes our teachers. I thought I was safe because I have been at that school for 4 out of the 6 years it has been open, but I found out today that I am being forced to transfer because they won't have a spot for me. :(

I am crushed.

I love my school, my kids, the people I work with, everything. I can't imagine not working there. Maybe because I've never worked anywhere BUT there, with those people.

If I am lucky, I will get to go to the school that is opening and taking half of my kids. In that case, I would know most of them, which would make the transition easier. Most of the teachers in my position (which is about 60% of our current staff) wants to transfer there too, for the same reason: to be with and around people you have worked with and taught the past 4 years. Easy transition.

Here's the problem:
This new school that is opening should have about 30 positions to fill. My school alone has about 25 people who are being forced to leave and the other school that is downsizing to help start this new school is losing up to 40 (!!!) teachers that will also be trying for this school that their kids will be going to. 30 positions for upwards of 65 people. There is a good chance I won't get a placement there.

If that happens, then I basically can be put at any school that has an opening without having any say in that or what I will be teaching. They could technically tell me that I have to get certified to teach another subject in order for them to retain a position for me.

I'm so upset. I had higher seniority than 70% of the staff at my current school and that still wasn't enough to keep me there. I really wasn't worried until Friday, when one of my friends who started the same year I did (2006) was told he was going to have to transfer. I couldn't believe it. However, God immediately started softening my heart to the idea of having to leave. I spent the whole weekend thinking about why it wouldn't be bad to leave and start this new school. Why it could be a good thing. He kept reminding me that every time he has changed something for me in my career it has turned out to be a positive thing. Why would this be any different?

But now all I feel is sad. I hate change. I hate having no control. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. And that is exactly what is going on.

But God is in control, and he has a plan for me. It might not be the plan I have in mind, but he will give me the strength to get through it.

8 comments:

Stephanie said...
March 8, 2010 at 10:19 PM

Oh, Lily-that's terrible! My heart goes out to you. I can really relate to feeling anxiety about such uncertainty, unsure about what lies ahead.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
xo

imaginenamaste said...
March 8, 2010 at 11:40 PM

Oh I hope everything works out for you!!! Education is in such a mess right now! I'll be thinking about you that it all works out for the best!

imaginenamaste said...
March 8, 2010 at 11:40 PM

Oh I hope everything works out for you!!! Education is in such a mess right now! I'll be thinking about you that it all works out for the best!

Finally Free said...
March 9, 2010 at 8:20 AM

Lily,
Change is so inevitable, but I hate it, too. I hate moving, changing, starting over. I think I am getting a bit better at it, but usually go kicking and screaming. God seems to stretch me and is constantly encouraging me to grow and change. A few years ago, my husband and I found a church we liked. Last year, our pastor felt a call from God and the whole church merged with another church. It has definitely been a challege. I'm still trying to get used to the new church one year later.
Praying God will help you adjust sweetie.

Blessings,
Tammy

Paula said...
March 9, 2010 at 10:09 AM

Lily, I am so sorry for you. The way this was / is handled is not very professionel. I hope you find comfort. I can relate that I strongly dislike being not in control when I am handled like THAT. Sttill I can see your point too - it might be for the better even when you dont see it now. Send you lots of good vibes and keep you in my thouchts.

Catherine said...
March 9, 2010 at 3:19 PM

Oh Lily! I am so sorry this is happening. Thinking of you.

Harriet said...
March 9, 2010 at 8:36 PM

I'm so sorry, that must be so disappointing. I'm thinking of you too....

Just Be Real/God Whispers In The Wind said...
March 13, 2010 at 4:00 AM

Lily, I know change is inevitable. I pray for strength for you in this area. I do not like change at all either.....