Then The Phone Rang

Things were quickly spiraling out of control for me last week. It was one of the worst weeks I've had in quite a while. I think I cried every day and when I finally collapsed into bed for the night, I cried then too.

I was exhausted.

Through my tears and pain Thursday night, I found the strength to pray. It almost felt like begging.

Please.

Help me to understand this pain. Help me to understand your path for me, why these things happened and what I am supposed to learn.

Please.

I woke up Friday and put my happy face on, as I was heading to have lunch with my mom and sister. I made myself eat a little for the sake of not raising questions, but just as it has been the entire week, I just did not have any appetite. I left with such a stomach ache (the stress has been aggravating my gall bladder issues, plus the fact that the one thing I had eaten since Tuesday morning was french fries, a big no-no) that I had to go home. I had other plans that afternoon, but I could barely sit up straight.

So I went home. I dissociated myself so much that I don't even remember thinking for at least an hour. Then the phone rang.

God?

Nope, my new boss.

I got the job.

I'm sorry what? Me? The one who was convinced she blew her only chance by showing up 45 minutes late to the interview? The one who was convinced that they wouldn't be able to see past the fact that I am not perfect, but that I am an amazing teacher?

I couldn't believe it.

I got off the phone and had to check myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I sat there in awe/confusion/excitement.

It took me a while to realize that my stomach ache had gone away; that I wasn't in any pain any more. Suddenly I was hungry.

My prayers that night were much different.